In the Laboratory

 

Here's a little fellow who seems to belong to a genus of critters that I'm beginning to think of as "Advanced Stick Figures."  Since he has a labcoat and a clipboard, he must be a scientist.  Television has taught me that.  

Since we're (or rather I'm - you may be thinking about something entirely unrelated at the moment) on the subject of scientists, I'll take this opportunity to repost my rules for safe and proper laboratory behavior:

• It doesn't go in your mouth.
• It doesn't belong in your ear.
• Don't stick it up your nose.
• Don't get it in your eyes. 
• Don't drop it on the floor. 
• Don't touch it if it's on fire. 
• If it smells bad, it's probably bad for you. 
• If it smells good, it's probably worse. 
• If you can't smell it at all . . . well, it's been nice knowin' ya. 
• If it can be pointed, be careful where you point it. 
• Just because the radiation won't kill you now is no excuse. 
• Read the label first. 
• If it ain't broke, don't break it. 
• If two substances are in separate containers, there's probably a good reason for it. 
• If it kills other living things, there's a chance it's not good for you either. 
• If metal dissolved in it, odds are your fingers won't fare much better. 
• An experiment that causes physical pain is a poorly designed experiment. 
• If you didn't do control experiments, you didn't do any experiments. Start over. 
• A result you don't like is still a result. 
• If it didn't work the first time, repeat the experiment. 
• If it did work the first time, repeat the experiment. 
• That which does not kill you . . . usually hurts like hell anyway. 
• Learn to cope with frustration. 
• Lightning may not strike the same spot twice, but just about everything else will (corollary: if it exploded last time, it's likely to explode this time too).