Wednesday, October 27, 2010

In the Laboratory

Here's a little fellow who seems to belong to a genus of critters that I'm beginning to think of as "Advanced Stick Figures."  Since he has a labcoat and a clipboard, he must be a scientist.  Television has taught me that.  

Since we're (or rather I'm - you may be thinking about something entirely unrelated at the moment) on the subject of scientists, I'll take this opportunity to repost my rules for safe and proper laboratory behavior:
  • It doesn't go in your mouth.
  • It doesn't belong in your ear.
  • Don't stick it up your nose.
  • Don't get it in your eyes. 
  • Don't drop it on the floor. 
  • Don't touch it if it's on fire. 
  • If it smells bad, it's probably bad for you. 
  • If it smells good, it's probably worse. 
  • If you can't smell it at all . . . well, it's been nice knowin' ya. 
  • If it can be pointed, be careful where you point it. 
  • Just because the radiation won't kill you now is no excuse. 
  • Read the label first. 
  • If it ain't broke, don't break it. 
  • If two substances are in separate containers, there's probably a good reason for it. 
  • If it kills other living things, there's a chance it's not good for you either. 
  • If metal dissolved in it, odds are your fingers won't fare much better. 
  • An experiment that causes physical pain is a poorly designed experiment. 
  • If you didn't do control experiments, you didn't do any experiments. Start over. 
  • A result you don't like is still a result. 
  • If it didn't work the first time, repeat the experiment. 
  • If it did work the first time, repeat the experiment. 
  • That which does not kill you . . . usually hurts like hell anyway. 
  • Learn to cope with frustration. 
  • Lightning may not strike the same spot twice, but just about everything else will (corollary: if it exploded last time, it's likely to explode this time too).

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Fell Porpoise

I just Googled the phrase "fell porpoise" and came up with nothing.  Nada.  Zippo.  Not a single webcomic.  Not a single blog.  Not a single hipster making a pun along the lines of "no one could fathom his fell matter how much it chittered and squeaked."  Nothing.

Interwebs, you have failed me.

You have failed to come up with every possible inane notion or idea before I have a chance to.  SO I CLAIM THIS ONE.  THE FELL PORPOISE IS MINE!  MINE I TELL YOU!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Take that, Interwebs.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Uh oh

How embarrassing....

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Knights of the Mystic Turnip

I seem to be stuck on a root vegetable theme.  If that is so, so be it.  I'd include an in-depth description of who these little spuds are, but to be honest, I haven't the foggiest.  In fact, I can go so far as to say that I don't carrot all.

Monday, May 24, 2010


I recently realized that there's no reason that I can't post sketches in addition to the fully finished (or at least as fully finished as they're likely to get in my hands) drawings I normally put online.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Let an umbrella be your umbrella

By the way (for those who arrived late), my lovely wife is now setting her thoughts on the subjects of frugality and ecological responsibility adrift upon the breezes of the interwebs at  Check it out if you get a chance.  It's far more interesting than this stuff.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Komodo Bunny

Another hybrid, drawn at the New Jersey Folk Project spring festival: